Roles: Designed or Lives

#174of365 #FaithBites #FaithJourney #Roles

Husband and Wife. Mother and Father. Grandfather and Grandmother. Sister and Brother. Aunt and Uncle. Cousin and Friend. There are so many times that we have to discuss the different roles that we have in life. Some we chose, like husband and wife, while others we are born into like sister, brother, and cousin. So many different roles to the define who we are.

I for one never felt that I fit into traditional roles. I was never a manly man. I don’t build things, hunt, fish, watch sports, drink beer, sleep around (in my youth) or anything like that. I felt odd as there was this image of manhood that I didn’t fit in. Neither did I fit into the image of womanhood as I didn’t like to shop, pink things, etc etc. (Yes, these are stereotypes that now I hate). For me, life was doing what felt good which meant being me. Some of my actions were called feminine like drinking pink drinks, talking about my feelings, being very affectionate, cooking, and being emotional. I was called gay on a number of occasions as many stick to the stereotypes that we have. When fatherhood came around, I did what felt right. Feeding, staying up all night, cuddling my kids, and activities that were traditionally the “mothers” role.

Today I was at a day camp with my daughter and niece. We were talking to one of the families (this was just dad’s and daughters) about the weather and being wet. One daughter said her socks were wet because of the mud. I asked her, do you have any extra socks. ( we were supposed to have a sleepover so I figured she would). She wasn’t sure but her Dad said that she did, thanks to mom for packing everything up. This was one of many experiences where what I think of as a traditional role doesn’t play out or that I don’t fit it. I know there is no one way to parent. We all make our roles in the best way we can. God has a special place for mothers and fathers. I also know that not every family has a mother or a father, with one or the other filling in. There are also situations where neither is available and the community helps. This is how it is supposed to be.

Scripture about Roles

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
They are a garland to grace your head
and a chain to adorn your neck.” – Proverbs 1:8-9

“But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children”. – 1 Thessalonians 2:7

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” – Titus 2:3-5

Reflection and Charge

I’ll admit, find scripture that is short and points to roles was difficult. There are many many passages in the bible that talk about the roles of the man and women and mother and father. They aren’t one-liners but rather full stories and passages. This world is topsy-turvy. We are told men do this, women do this, boys do this. Dress this way or that. That God’s design doesn’t matter. I truly believe that having a mother figure and father figure is important. I also know that it doesn’t happen in many cases and people can have love. I also know many well-functioning families where the mothers have more “masculine” traits and the father more “feminine” traits. I don’t believe that is a sin but rather God putting two people together to raise his children.

I am not an expert in roles. I know that the world put roles on us that we may or may not fit. I do know that I can pray to the lord and he will help and bless me and my family. I am open to any thoughts you may have on the roles of men and women and mothers and fathers.

Lord, help us in this difficult world. Help us understand the roles you want for us and not the worlds roles.

Do you know your role in life? Do you try to fit God’s roles of the world’s roles? Are you willing to fill the role God wants you to fill?

I am willing with the help of God.