#faithbites #fauthjourney failed
I have failed as a husband many times, but I am not a failure. I have yelled at my wife, shown her anger, had lustful thoughts, been selfish, and wounded her spirit. There have been times when I don’t want to hang out and say I can’t because I just don’t want to. So many times that I have done things that I thought I wouldn’t because I wanted to be a perfect husband, but I fall short of the perfection of God.
Yesterday, we talked about how I’ve failed as a father. This is part two of the series of failing but not being a failure. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life.
One thing to clarify is these aren’t posts of pity or ones looking for forgiveness. They are showing how when we are open and honest about our failings, we can grow our relationship. It also isn’t to put blame on someone else or play the “he said she said they said game”. Furthermore, it isn’t that my sin isn’t as bad as others. Sure, I’ve never cheated on committed adultery or been physically abusive and some have. But we should compare ourselves to the Grace of God and his wishes for us rather than to the sins of the world.
The hope is we all, including myself, remove the idea that we can ever be perfect in our relationships, and instead walk in the awkward with our loved ones and grow in our imperfections.
Imagine loving your wife as your own body as we see in Ephesians. You don’t want to cause pain to yourself, why would you do it to someone else. Many times, we hurt those who we love the most when we are hurting as we know they will love us no matter what. Imagine, if we we’re inflecting that pain in ourselves rather than our spouses. Would we still do it?
Likewise, as we see in Mark, can you separate yourself. Its easier to hurt someone who you can separate away and be one and alone. It’s much harder to hurt yourself or one that is always with you and apart of you.
Our final verse, is the one that these failing posts are about. We all screw up. We all treat our loved ones (children, spouses, significant others) poorly from time to time. We need to ask for forgiveness and accept it when it is given. Then if we accept someone’s apology, truly forgive and work on your relationship.
I will never have a perfect marriage as neither myself or my wife is perfect. We can’t be. But we can forgive openly and fully and forget all the times we have failed.
Have you wounded your spouse? Have you spoke death into them rather than life. Beg for forgiveness as Christ forgave us. Work on improving yourself. Remember that you nor your spouse will ever be perfect. It’s ok,Jesus is our rescue and we can go to him together.
Lord, thank you for the gift of marriage and the gift of forgiveness. Help us when we wound our loved ones to heal them. Give us the courage to ask for and accept forgiveness. Remind us that the only thing perfect in our marriage and relationships is your presence and love. In all your glory, we pray, amen.