#faithbites #faithjourney acted
Today was a low spoon day. It started rough and was just me pushing through. This evening, with my youngest in tow, I went to the bank. The cashier was requiring me to do something that I thought was assinine, so I let him know. Yes, I was meaner than normal. Yes, I shouldn’t have been like that. So no excuses. Then my little one said I shouldn’t have said that. I said yes and tried to talk to her that I didn’t handle it well. So it was a good talk. But even though we talked about it, I shouldn’t have acted like that. Regardless of my mental or physical state, I shouldn’t have done it, but I did.
Even knowing that we all have days like that, it’s still doesn’t make it right. Even knowing that Jesus forgives, it is still rough. It’s hard to know that no matter how we acted in the past, Jesus forgives. I am thankful for that, even though it’s hard to accept.
“See, Lord, how distressed I am!
I am in torment within,
and in my heart I am disturbed,
for I have been most rebellious.
Outside, the sword bereaves;
inside, there is only death.
“People have heard my groaning,
but there is no one to comfort me.
All my enemies have heard of my distress;
they rejoice at what you have done.
May you bring the day you have announced
so they may become like me. – Lamentations 1:20-21
“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life. – John 5:24
We are often in torment about the way we have acted. It doesn’t matter how “good” others thing we are, we know we are rebellious and think death is the only answer. For who could love us with as bad as we can be at times? We know the answer is the old Sunday school answer: Jesus. We hear his word and are not judged for we believe and ask his forgiveness.
It’s not easy to accept His grace when we have behaved badly. I have been told and believe that I am harder on myself than anyone else. Jesus has come for us to be saved, free, and rejoice. Our sins are no more.
So in retrospect, the bank teller was doing his job. It’s a stupid rule but he didn’t make it. It was me not having the patience to deal with it as a mature adult. I am sorry for that. I know that that isn’t the behavior I want my children to emulate just like God doesn’t want us to act that way. Next time, and thank Jesus there is a next time, I can do better.
Give yourself a break. You are human and will screw up. Not just once, but multiple times a day. As for forgiveness and accept it. You don’t need to suffer over and over for your sins. You are clean.
Lord, I confess I acted poorly. This isn’t the example you provide, nor is it the example I want my children to emulate. Forgive me for my sins. Grant all of us your forgiveness for the times we act poorly and make bad decisions. Give us peace knowing that while we have done wrong, we get a fresh start every day. We thank you for that gift. Lord, be with us in all our comings and goings, reminding us that no matter what we do, you love us and forgive us. In your name, Amen.