June 18 – I’m blah blah blah

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I’m blah blah blah

When something bad happens we say I’m sorry or my thoughts and prayers are with you. We also say things like I hope blah blah blah. We try in this way to show our empathy at best but many times sympathy.

Someone is going through something and we try to change their situation by doing something. I’m here for you. I can help you

These are all great sentiments but sometimes not helpful. Sometimes someone just needs to know they have an ear or a shoulder. I try to say you aren’t alone. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask. It changes the Dynamics from me centered to them centered.

I find myself in this position alot. When people are discussing soemthing, do you ever find yourself adding your situation or your experience to it? It’s our attempt to both empathize but also to be included. It’s a fine line that I struggle with. Sometimes just being there and being silent is the most help someone needs.

“a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,” – Ecclesiastes 3:7

“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.”. – Job 2:11

We know there is a time to cry and a time to heal, a time to help and a time to be helped. Knowing the difference is challenging especially if you are a person who thinks they don’t need help. The Job passafp amazed me. Here is a guy who has gone through the ringer to out it mildly. He has suffered great hadsshio and we learn that his friends come not to help him or solve his problems but to sympathetize and confort. That is what many people need.

I like when I say life sucks sometimes when someone yes, yup your right. It is a bag if suck sometimes. That little bit of empathy and sympathy helps. Then if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask. This is a much different response then if someone says life sucks and you say, nope life is great. Everything is awesome, how can I help you? This not only negatws their feelings but then they feel somwthinf is broken that you need to fix.

We all do it with the best intentions. Just remember, that while you mean well it may be the opposite of what the other person wants.

Are you willing to be their for comfort and sympathy and not to solve? Are ready to be there for the person and not for you?

I’m willing and ready with the help of God

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